my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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