Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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