i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You took a bar mat shot.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
