Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
