It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
