Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
