I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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