i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
