His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
