Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
