i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
