He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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