What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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