I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
