he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
