why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
