I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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