I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize