I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
