yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Text me some of your sweat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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