you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
