Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
