He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
