The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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