toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
