At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
