@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize