: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
