Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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