i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
