I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
