I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
