six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
