doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
