ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
