I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
