its not stalking. its research.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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