Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
