Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
