I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
