we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
