Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
