I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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