YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
