And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize