Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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