He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
