..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
