he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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