1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
