cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
