Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
