I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
