just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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