You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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