Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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