He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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