did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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